No Strings Page 8

  “You okay?” Brody asked from behind me. I could tell from his voice that he was frowning.

  “Yeah,” I said. I ran a hand through my hair that was no doubt wild. I tried not to think about the way his fingers had felt in it. “I should get dressed and…” I trailed off stupidly.

  “Catrina.”

  “If I don’t get back home—”

  “Will you look at me?”

  I turned slightly, looking at Brody over my shoulder. He had turned onto his side and propped his head on his hand, bent at the elbow.

  “I think you should stay.”

  “I—”

  “It’s late,” he said, “Too late to go home by yourself.”

  I looked into his eyes, wanting to say that it was probably only ten or so, that I could take an Uber and be fine. But instead I asked the question that was pressing on the back of my throat before I had a chance to think about it.

  “Do you want me to stay?”

  “Yes,” he said, without so much as a pause. “I definitely want you to stay.”

  And then he gave me a small, shy, sexy smile that nearly stopped my heart.

  “Okay,” I whispered, because that was all I could manage, and I crawled around to face him, both of us lying on our sides looking at each other.

  In Brody’s bed.

  I was in Brody’s bed.

  I glanced around at his bedroom, taking it in for the first time as Brody pulled his black comforter up around us and moved a bit closer.

  “You’ve got a really nice place,” I said, looking at the maroon accent wall on the far side of the room as I pulled the covers up to cover my nakedness. The moonlight was seeping in through the floor to ceiling windows, and a huge Renaissance-looking painting was hanging on the wall in front of us that looked like it could quite possibly be an original DaVinci work.

  “Thanks,” he said. When I looked over at him, he was gazing at me with a look in his eyes—a look that I didn’t want to think about—but soon it morphed into a smirk.

  “I am rich, after all,” he said.

  “You’re such an asshole.”

  He grinned. “By the way,” he said, scooting closer and resting his arm on the pillow above my head. “You’re probably too sore for more fucking, but there are definitely other things I want to do to you tonight.”

  I blushed nearly the color of my hair at the way he spoke so bluntly right before Brody dove in for a kiss, grinning like an idiot.

  Chapter SEVEN

  When I blinked my eyes open and turned over hours later, there was hardly any light coming in through the window. It was before sunrise, and I could see the mist and fog of early spring morning in the glow of space outside. I shifted in bed and was slightly shocked to find that I was naked, before everything that had happened last night came rushing into my consciousness at full force.

  Brody, fully clothed while I lay under him naked, his head between my legs.

  Brody over me, gently pushing inside, the bite of pain when he got all the way in followed minutes later by intense and overwhelming pleasure.

  Brody’s sounds of ecstasy while I soared to heaven as his warmth flooded the condom inside me.

  Brody’s eyes on me after, a look I could almost mistake for adoration.

  Brody’s smile when he asked me to stay.

  Brody, later, kissing me languidly in bed as if there was no place else he’d rather be.

  It was all back, clear as day, no barrier, nothing between my memory and my waking mind, almost like a movie I was currently watching, the picture in live and vibrant technicolor.

  There was movement at my back and I stilled when I heard and felt the shift in the large bed beside me. There was a dull ache between my legs serving as another reminder from last night, and the ache throbbed slightly when my body became more aware of Brody’s. But the throb I felt wasn’t entirely painful. It was anticipatory.

  I felt him shift, his morning erection stiff against me, and then a loose arm came over and rested in the covered curve of my waist as he shifted closer, his face burrowing closer into my hair as he let out a small groan of contentment.

  I remained frozen, and when Brody didn’t wake up or make any other movements, I let out a sigh of relief.

  I needed to get out of this apartment.

  And fast.

  Last night had been a whirlwind. A swirling bundle of intense and chaotic emotions, and I needed to figure them all out. I absolutely could not figure them out while lying in bed with Brody with the overwhelming urge to bury my face in his chest and smell him until he woke up and took me again. The fact that I even wanted any of that was a terrible and dangerous sign, and the fact that there were all these emotions in my heart and head that I knew were there but I refused to acknowledge terrified me. Especially because I knew I shouldn’t and wasn’t even allowed to feel them.

  It had all just been so intense. And I needed to separate myself from him and from last night as soon as I possibly could. I couldn’t let Brody see my face this morning because I was afraid of what he might see.

  As slowly as I could, I put two fingers around Brody’s wrist and lifted his arm off me. I ignored how much I enjoyed the weight of it around me while I moved it gently away. He started to shift a bit so I dropped his arm when it was still about an inch or two from the bed and I froze again, waiting, praying. He drifted closer, but he mostly stayed in the position I left him. I took a deep, quiet breath and waited a few more moments before I pulled the cover gently off of me and slid quickly and quietly out of his bed.

  I grabbed my bra and underwear off the floor of Brody’s bedroom and then padded into the kitchen where my dress was still in a heap near the island, right where I had stood when I had lifted it over my head, his eyes on mine, reassuring me, making me feel so desired that I had thought I might explode.

  I snapped my bra behind my back and pulled the straps up quickly before bending even more quickly and pulling on my panties. I yanked my black dress off the floor and pulled it over my head roughly as I slipped my feet into my shoes that I presumed I had kicked off at some point when he had lifted me off my feet right there in the middle of kitchen so that I could wrap my legs around him.

  I put a hand to my stomach when I felt a rush of desire at the memory. A rush so profound that it almost made me double over.

  After I was dressed, I couldn’t help myself. I walked back to Brody’s bedroom and peaked inside the darkened room so that I could look at him on the bed—just one last look—and I gazed at him longingly, wishing, briefly, that things were different. The cover was down around his waist, and he was still on his side in the position I had left him in facing the spot I had laid in. His blonde hair was tousled, his cheeks slightly pink, and all I wanted to do was crawl back in that bed with him.

  Which was exactly why I turned around and walked to the door.

  ◆◆◆

  Mercifully, an Uber was nearby and I made it back to my apartment and into my room without waking Talia so she couldn’t see me on my walk of shame. I wasn’t ready to tell her about Brody yet. I didn’t know when I would be.

  And it may have, technically, been a walk of shame as I slunk to my room and dumped myself into my bed in the clothes I wore yesterday, but it still took all my strength to contain the grin that wanted to burst through.

  I was no longer a virgin.

  Brody Galen had taken my virginity in probably the most perfect, thrilling, passionate, spectacular way possible as far as first times were concerned, and most of all—the reason the grin threatened to break through—was that no one knew. It was a secret, something sacred between Brody and me and it always would be. At least for the time being. At least until I could figure out how the hell to say the words.

  What had happened belonged to me, just as I had always imagined. I had done something just for me, without input from overwhelming family or overbearing friends. I had made a choice, and it was all mine, the memories lingering all over me, inside me, a p
leasant weight in my chest. It was for no one else to know or think about or judge. It was mine.

  I had no idea how I was going to concentrate in class. I had my senior recital lesson later in the afternoon and I was supposed to be off my music today, but I didn’t know if I would be able to concentrate for thinking about Brody and last night and the way he had touched me, put his mouth on me, his hands, the way he—

  No.

  Last night was a one-time thing. I needed to just cherish the memory for a few more hours but by the time I went to my lesson I needed to put it behind me. For my own good.

  Later, I was leaving the fine arts building after my class, during which I was extremely distracted and not at all able to rehearse without my music to the disappointment of my voice coach, and I was trembling slightly with the adrenaline caused by the anticipation of what was about to happen.

  Of course. Of course it was my luck that I had the one class I’d had in my entire college career with Brody today. Of course. This was what I deserved for waiting until the last possible semester I could to take an English Literature class to satisfy the liberal arts program requirement. At the time, Gabe thought it would be really cool if we had a class together, and I had totally agreed until I found out that Brody had signed up, too.

  I felt like I was being given a test, which, incidentally, I tended to excel at. Could I act normally around Brody after what had happened last night? Could I get through this class without being caught staring at him or cluing him into the fact that I wanted about a million repeats of last night? Could I get through the rest of the damn school year without just giving in and begging him for more, without letting anyone else but him see the giant V with the X through it on my chest?

  I made sure I got to the classroom with only a minute to spare so there would be no time to linger or look at him before class because, God, did I really want to just look at him. I had a friend Staci who I usually had coffee with before this class on Tuesdays and Thursdays since she was in this class as well, but I’d made excuses to get out of going to grab coffee with her so I could come to the classroom alone.

  Okay, really it was because I wanted to sit in my apartment and lay in bed thinking about last night.

  But now, walking into the classroom, I was reconsidering, wishing I had the protection of my friend to insulate me at the very least from my own thoughts.

  And the worst—by far the complete and utter worst thing about this whole situation was that Callum was the T.A. for this class. I couldn’t possibly imagine a worse scenario.

  I dropped into my seat next to Staci and chatted with her for a minute or so just as class was starting and made sure not to glance to my left where Brody sat next to my cousin Gabe.

  I was proud of myself that I was able to make it halfway through class before the urge to look at him became almost unbearable. I knew he kept looking at me. I could feel his eyes on me almost as vividly as I remembered his tongue on my stomach. The back of my neck felt hot, and I was about get up to leave the room for a moment before I finally gave in.

  Brody’s eyes were already on me when I looked at him. Our eyes met, and I pushed the memories away because all that mattered was this moment, the way he was looking at me, his expression inscrutable. He was just regarding me, watching me. I would have given anything to be able to drag my eyes away, but I also didn’t ever want to look away, never wanted to break this moment between us as the world seemed to tilt on its axis, just a bit. Just enough to throw off my entire equilibrium.

  Then, as if it was the most casual thing in the world, he winked.

  That flick of his eyelid was enough to break me out of my reverie, and I just shot him a smile before turning back to the lecture, feeling slightly better as at least the anxiety about what he would do when we looked at each other for the first time after seemed to dissipate into the room.

  By the time the class was almost over, I was so on edge again that I felt like I might come out of my skin. I kept looking at the clock, counting down the minutes until I could run out of the classroom and escape the torture of Brody’s eyes on me. Because I knew he was looking, even if I refused to look back.

  When the professor dismissed us, I waved at Callum in the front before I turned to get out of there as quickly as possible. I saw his frown, most likely because I usually went and talked to him after class, but I would just have to text him later and make some excuse. I couldn’t bear to be in that room another second longer. Not like this. Not when I felt like my heart was thumping so hard that anyone who looked would be able to see it through my shirt.

  I was leaving the room, turning the corner down the hallway toward the bathrooms when I felt a hand on my wrist pull me just as I was about to enter the women’s bathroom. I gasped when I turned my head and saw that it was Brody pulling me along.

  He dragged me back down the hall and then around several corners until we were in an empty hallway. My heart stuttered as he looked to his right and to his left right before he pushed me back against the wall, arms caging me in as he hovered over me. I looked up to meet his eyes, breathless, stomach mad with butterflies.

  “You left early this morning.”

  I cleared my throat and looked at his mouth quickly before looking back up at his eyes. His pelvis was not even an inch from mine, and I resisted the urge to yank him closer. I kept my arms firmly at my sides.

  Yeah, last night was not enough. I didn’t know if anything would ever be enough with him. I was so totally screwed.

  “Yeah,” was all I could manage to say.

  “That was upsetting,” he said casually, searching my eyes. “Because I woke up really missing the taste of you.”

  I gasped, eyes widening. “Brody,” I croaked.

  “I think we should continue what we started last night,” he continued as if I wasn’t about to have a dizzy spell like a woman in the Victorian novels we were currently studying.

  “What do you—?”

  “Did you enjoy last night?”

  “Yes,” I said quickly, without hesitation. Even if I’d given myself a moment to breathe and respond casually, it was written all over my face.

  Brody smirked and bit his bottom lip briefly. “Me, too,” he said. “I think we should keep doing it.”

  “But you said you don’t—”

  “Keep it casual,” he interrupted, knowing what I meant. “No strings, keep doing what we both really want to keep doing.”

  I tried to feign some kind of defiance at his overwhelming arrogance. “Who says I want to—?”

  “Buddy, I saw the way you were trying not to look at me in class,” he said, voice going lower, more sensual. “I know you want it.”

  I licked my lips, trying to get moisture into my mouth that had suddenly gone dry, and I felt a small sense of triumph when I saw his eyes flick to my mouth.

  “For how long?”

  Brody shrugged. “Until we leave Klein?” he said. “Or sooner, if you ever want to stop.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “What if you want to stop?”

  “Then I’ll tell you,” he said. He took a small step closer and glanced at my mouth again. “But I don’t see that happening.”

  “Brody—”

  “Look, we’re old enough to be able to handle something like this. We’re adults,” he said, sounding a bit more serious. I didn’t point out the fact that just the day before he’d said we were just kids who shouldn’t be having relationships. “And I want you.” He ran his eyes up and down my body, quickly, almost like he didn’t realize he was doing it. “Badly. And I think you want me just as much, so why don’t we have a little bit of fun until it’s not fun anymore?”

  I knew I was sliding down a slippery slope, being pulled down into the rabbit hole with no means of return. I knew because I was a bright woman and I’d read plenty of romance novels and seen plenty of movies that this was going to end badly. I was already terrified of the feelings I had felt last night, and continuing this... this madnes
s was only going to hurt either one or both of us, most definitely me when Brody decided he’d had enough or when the school year ended and so did we.

  But he was looking at me, with the same clear eyes that he’d looked at me last night when he was entering me, with the same eyes he’d gazed at me when he’d asked me to stay, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what my answer would be.

  “Okay,” I said quietly.

  He sighed and dropped his head for a moment. “Thank God,” he huffed before looking back up at me with a smirk. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said. “And then we’re going to meet on Saturday after my soccer practice. Deal?”

  “Deal,” I breathed. And then I tilted my head back just a bit and waited for the other part of our deal. But he was just standing there, still grinning, and I was frustrated with myself for agreeing to this and frustrated with all the tension from today, so I reached out and grabbed his waist to yank him closer like I’d wanted to do since he’d first pushed me against this wall. I looked up and met his eyes, triumphant that my actions had made his grin slip.

  “Kiss me,” I said breathily.

  “Seal our deal with a kiss,” he remarked before he brought his mouth down over mine.

  ◆◆◆

  It was nearly midnight, and I was in the library, trying to focus on the mounds of homework I had that shouldn’t have been taking as long as they were if not for my mind being someplace else.

  Brody wanted to keep seeing me, and sure it was still a no-strings, casual, secret affair, but I was still more excited over this than when I’d found out I got accepted to Klein.

  I was roaming through the shelves, searching for a book I needed for this damn paper we had to write for English Lit when I felt someone come up behind me. I would have been alarmed but I recognized Brody’s hands and the tattoo on his forearm (which said “drink up,” and I really needed to ask him about what the hell that meant) when he caged me in and gripped the shelves on either side of my head. Then, without a word, he brought one hand away from the shelf so he could move my hair all to one side. Then he put his hand back where it was—I watched, nerve endings firing, making me tremble slightly—just as he brought his lips down to my neck.